|
Post by Ghostrider on Aug 5, 2015 17:47:14 GMT
One of many that stand out for me was when I was just a kid. You see, when I was a lad, we didn't have much money - like many really. Anyway I seem to remember just having shorts for playing out and no undies were worn due to the fact that we didn't seem to be able to afford them or maybe we shared a pair between us and I was the runt who never got the chance to skid them up. I'm not too sure. Anyway, I was just a kid in early junior school and was playing out at a friends house. There were about 10 of us, including his sister and her friends. I'm sitting there cross legged and one lass shouts, "ahhhh Donald's go no underpants on and I can see his tiddle." Naturally everyone looks from that point on, as it was shouted loud enough for the whole street to come and see that scruffy Donald isn't wearing any underpants. Yeah I know ... his tiddle. The truth is, it was and still is just a frigging tiddle. Well you can imagine the state of me. Totally embarrassed even at that age. Not only has my tiddle been seen but now I had about 10 people ready to tell all at school on the Monday about me not wearing underpants. I have many more I'll share when I get over reliving that fateful day. Howay let's have a laugh and pour out your life's cringeworthy moments.
|
|
|
Post by Ghostrider on Aug 6, 2015 15:47:44 GMT
Years ago when I was in my late teens, I was riding home from work on a nice hot sunny day. I was doing what normal lads do, which was riding along with no hands on the handle bars. I manage to get just past this bus stop where there was a few people waiting for a bus, including a few lasses and what happens? My front frigging wheel hits a small stone and twists my front wheel around. I go flying off the bike, embedding some of the road gravel into the side of my head. I got back up, as you do and just jumped back on the bike and off I went, looking as though I hadn't a care in the world. The truth was, my head was banging and my face was a bit raw and battered, plus my shoulder...and god only knows what colour of red my face was. Probably beetroot. I felt a complete twat and from that day on I was careful as to how I handled a bike where there was a potential audience, who I'm certain would have been pissing themselves laughing...but I wasn't giving anyone the chance to show that to me.
|
|
|
Post by Ghostrider on Aug 24, 2015 14:18:11 GMT
Got caught having a sly tweek of me tiddle when I was about 10. I was laid on the bed doing things that lads do when I felt a presence. I never made too much of a deal of it until I heard, "arghhhhhh, caught you." I turned round...obviously after putting me little tiddle away in a hurry to find my older sister feeling all smug as if she'd caught me dressed up in womens gear or something.
Anyway, just to be an awkward bassad, she then decides to interrogate me. "What were you doing?".......me: " I was seeing if I had any hairs down there." said with a beetroot and guilt ridden face that you could light a tab off.
"No you weren't." she said. "yes I was." I said.
"No you weren't, you were playing with your tail." Why ask eh?...she obviously knew because she frigging spied on me.
I owned up and said " don't tell anyone will you?"
Of course, there was the blackmail. I basically had to go to the shops when she asked and make a cup of tea or whatever when she asked and if I ever back answered her it was always, "ahhhh....a....haaaa, remember."
I soon got sick of this caper and I refused to go to the shops one day. She said, " ok then I'll just tell me mam."
I said:"tell who you want, I'm not bothered."
She never did tell. Why?.....because she probably thought that if she did then I would tell of the blackmail I endured for the sake of doing something that every kid does. Even though I'm middle aged, I still remember that and the embarrassment. Naturally I've never used it in conversation with my sister. I don't feel comfortable when we reminisce, to shout, " oi, sis, remember when you caught me tweaking me dick when I was a nipper." LMAO.
|
|
|
Post by Ghostrider on Aug 25, 2015 16:22:23 GMT
I was in the juniors, just fresh out of the infants.. I remember shouting for the teacher, "miss...miss...miss...miss." I seemed to be shouting for so long to get her attention I must have went into a little trance and found myself shouting, "mam....mam...mam." Amid all the bickering with other kids and what not, this lass shouts dead loud, " miss, he's calling you mam." Naturally the class started laughing and even though I was so young, I still felt an absolute twat.
|
|
|
Post by Ghostrider on Aug 25, 2015 16:39:48 GMT
Other silly things. People would wish me a happy birthday as a kid. My reply was to wish them a happy birthday. I used to hate the times when you had to go somewhere and your parents just stood there and blatantly lied to you. I mean, it was bad enough with the gear I wore as per normal but on rare occasions I'd get some cheap gear bought for going somewhere. You could guarantee some stupid gear and more or less threatened if you dared argue about wearing it but also your parents knew that you felt a right twat and wanted to just curl up and die because you would be spotted and sniggered at. To counteract this my mother would say, " ahhh you look really smart in them and they suit you. People will be jealous when they see the new clothes you have." I wanted to just look up into my mother face and shout, "feck right off you lying cow bag, feck you and feck me father, you pack of bassads. You evil bassads." What came out was a little sniffle with head down and a sort of acceptance that I have no way out of this other than to throw myself from the moving car off some bridge and never seeing light again. The car drive was bad enough. I mean, people could say, " yeah but you went to where you were going in a car so at least the walk of shame wasn't immediate vicinity. Aye that's true but our car was a Hillman Minx and as far as I can recall, it was an old version and as rusty as hell. I used to pretend to tie my shoelaces when we set off in it, until we got away from our area. I've got many more to tell and I'll get to them as time goes on. Don't be shy, get some thoughts put in and let's have a laugh at your mishaps/embarrassments.
|
|